How does God feel about sex before marriage?

Ron L. Deal

Let me answer this general question by posting for you a reply I gave to someone who wondered why we are asking unmarried couples attending the StepCouple Cruise to have separate bedrooms. I think the point is clear.

Question:

I just received the e-mail about your cruise. It sounded great until I read the part about engaged or dating couples must have separate cabins. Really. This is the 21st century. I am a stepmother and have been dealing with many different issues. It seems to me that there are more important issues with stepfamilies than worrying about who is sleeping with who (in the biblical sense). In fact, I think that is a very un-christianlike attitude. I can not speak for others but I would venture to guess there are many stepcouples who would benefit from this cruise, but will not attend due to your rigid, judgmental attitudes.

Answer:

I regret your frustration with our expectation that single people have separate cabins on the cruise. We're just trying to do our part to help people "live to please God" by "avoiding sexual immorality...in a way that is holy and honorable" (1 Thess. 4:1-8). I realize this is the 21st Century, but with all due respect, that doesn't change God's first century expectation that we avoid "even a hint of sexual immorality...because these are improper for God's holy people" (Eph. 5:3). I think you can see our intent and I'm sure your passion for God would want us to help people walk in the light whenever we can.

By the way, (referencing your message below) what's more important for stepfamilies than adults who respond to God in faithful obedience? Some how I doubt that learning better stepparenting skills, for example, can overcome a heart that in the end calls God's precepts "rigid and judgmental" (remember, I didn't come up with this, God did). May I invite you to step back from your frustration with me and let God's will and loving provision for your life soak into your heart a little.

Read 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8; 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, and Ephesians 5:1-10 if you have any questions about the appropriateness of sexuality (or even the appearance of sexuality) outside of the marital bond.